My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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