In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
