Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
