Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
