Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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