we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
