Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
COCAINE IS GR8
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