the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
