I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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