Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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