After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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