i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize