yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
