how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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