I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
