for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
