I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
