I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
