Umm I'm too high to move.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
