I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
