Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
