I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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