The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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