All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
