We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
