You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
