Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
