Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
