O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
