i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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