I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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