I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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