Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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