Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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