So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
