i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
