She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
