his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
