Duck Duck Cougar?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
