We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
