Jerry, you need to find god
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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