This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
