im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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