Cold hands, warm shart.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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