sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
