Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
