So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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