Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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