I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize