Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
