Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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