Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
