even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
