Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
