I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
