Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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