Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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