Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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