just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
