That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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