She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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