Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
