Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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