it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
