Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
