hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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