Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
